How to perfectly communicate with literally everyone in 4 steps
When I was 20, I used to be a travel guide at a call centre.
It wasn’t my favourite job by any means. I mean, the travel industry is super cool, and upselling people to a $330, 5-year membership renewal brought in some decent bonuses. But generally speaking, I’m not a call centre person.
I took away a lot of necessary-yet-unnecessary knowledge about travel. I can point on a map where every state in the US is located. I can tell you where most people love to travel in the US, Mexico, and the Caribbean. And for some reason, I know way too much information about Branson, Missouri.
My final week at the call centre was a circus show. My supervisor had quit and they didn’t assign me a replacement since I was on the last week of my two week notice. So no boss to monitor me. I started talking in a British accent. I occasionally unplugged my headset and make callers wait for hours thinking they’re on hold while I went out for a greasy slice of pizza. My friends and I made a challenge: say YouknowhatImsayin’ as many times as you can on a single call. I barely got through 5; one of my other friends said it at the end of every sentence - sometimes back-to-back, like youknowhatImsayinyouknowhatImsayinyouknowhatImsayin. In total, over a hundred times on one call. What an achievement.
Outside of tomfoolery, it was one of the first jobs where I had to learn proper communication skills.
Communication is key, regardless if it’s in business or in your personal life. It’s how we’re able to communicate our thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It’s also how we’re able to teach and learn things to other people.
I had a conversation with a friend once; he described to me the four crucial steps behind every message that is communicated.
1. The intent behind your message
You have to have an idea about what you’re trying to communicate. It’s the spark in your head that desires to be said. It’s the reason you’re interested in communicating in the first place. So far, it’s still in your brain - you just need to find a way to let it out.
2. The delivery of your message
You may have the intent or idea of what to say, but how you formulate your message is super important. You can imagine it similar to how you would package a box for delivery. Sending out your message includes a variety of factors: language, tone, the softness or loudness, the words you choose. But your delivery also depends on other factors. Are you chewing gum? Are you mumbling your words? Are you creating proper eye contact? Are you trying to talk in the club?
3. How your message is received
You may have delivered the perfect message, but how your message is received can make or break a perfect opportunity. If your recipient is preoccupied, they’re exhausted, or slightly irritable from hunger pangs, your message may not be received in its fullest extent. Your recipient needs to be able to catch the ball you’re throwin’.
4. The perception behind your intended message
The goal is to ensure your intention matches their perception. Your recipient needs time to process, interpret, and make a conclusion about your message. They’re decoding your encrypted message. This is when people may misunderstand messages. Sometimes how messages are perceived may be skewed by differing personality traits or deep insecurities. If the feedback loop doesn’t match, then the cycle starts over again until intent matches perception.
You may notice that no matter how perfectly you’ve packaged your message, there’s almost nothing you can do about the outcome. Your circle of control exists only in how your intent behind your message, and how you’re able to deliver it.
Don’t feel frustrated when people don’t understand your message - they may have been distracted while receiving it, or they may not have understood your intent.
Create a bit of space to let people iron out the issues that exist in the communication chain, and you’ll pump out some flawless discussions.
Fun fact: Branson, Missouri is one of the most popular destinations by travellers within the US. I still don’t know why.
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
—Ernest Hemingway
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The key to communication is patience,
Reggie